This has been a controversial topic since ages. There is no absolute definition of hitting in parenting. Hitting can be forcefully pushing the child away, grabbing the child tightly, slapping her hard, slightly spanking, punching, burning, locking her up or abusing her?
Consequences of hitting the child
- First and foremost when someone raises a hand on the innocent child, the child will start hating the hitter and will try to stay away from him. As parents, people take advantage of the gullibility of the child because where will the child go if she doesn’t like her parents? This thinking is a mistake. Child will always remember that her parents took advantage of her helplessness and someday she will reciprocate too.
- Hitting can cause more mental damage than physical damage. An active and cheerful child can also become resentful and depressed if she stays in an abusive environment.
- Most of the people when hit the child they take it for granted that they would not receive it back as the child is young and feeble. How long will the child be in the same situation someday she will gain strength and can reciprocate in the fashion she has been dealt with!
- A depressed or stressed child can take wrong actions. Either harming herself or society.
Discipline is just an excuse!
All the parents who hit their children give one single excuse for their action – Discipline. Discipline is the last thing child learns from getting hit. Many a time’s kids are so small that they fail to understand the mistake they did to be treated in such a fashion. At this junction this act sends out a message that the powerful one can anytime abuse the weaker one (even without her mistake). These kind of kids grow up to become big Bullies.
In many instances the kids become “Punching bags” for their elders. If you are angry on your boss, colleague, relative or in-laws go and spank the kid on smallest possible mistake. This is a just a way of venting out your anger. The child doesn’t learn discipline in this situation instead, it sends out a message to the kid, that, if you are angry you can adhere to violence. These kind of kids can never accept rejections. They go to any extent of raping, sexual abusing, or for that matter murdering the person who rejected them just to vent out their anger.
How to discipline your child
Sometimes it is necessary to discipline a child. People who pamper their kids rotten, hearing and accepting every wish of the child, also repent their behavior. So what is the perfect way of disciplining a child?
I have a daughter who is 2 years old now. I don’t say that I have never ever raised my hand on her, I have. Whenever I have taken the step, first of all I ask myself a few questions;
Am I angry?
What message is going across by this action of mine?
Is she going to learn from this slap?
Most of the times I stop because I understand that hitting is not going to help her understand her mistake. Usually if she is not listening to my instruction I wait for her cranky mood to set aside and later I ask her to do the same thing and she does it the same way as desired.
I and my husband have an arrangement. Since I am always there with my daughter she loves me too much to not hate me. So I am the one who disciplines her, he never ever touches her and only pampers.
At times she does some actions which are completely unacceptable like snatching food from her friend, hitting someone elder, showing anger on someone without any reason then I slightly pat her cheek. Being aware that I don’t hit her hard. She rushes to her dad when he gets back home and complains about me. So she always has a person to go and complain to. He then loves her, pampers her, and later makes her understand her mistake and tells her that her action was uncalled for. That’s it. The chapter is closed.
There always has to be a person the child should go and cuddle. She should feel welcomed and warm and that person can only make her realize her mistake. This is the best way to discipline a child.